Being Aware of your Family History is Important Because...

Being aware of your family history is important for a lot of reasons, but I've learned along the way that it is less important than people will have you think.  I don't know as much about my history as some do.  It is a blessing that most of my friends have and don't even realize.  Lot's of times people just think it is "normal".  For a long time I yearned for this sort of "normal".  Then I realized that this quest only kept me in bondage and away from my savior, it hurt those around me, especially my family, and the zealousness of my own quest kept me from my own true blessings.

From the time I was born to the age of about 16 I thought that my family was crazy in it's own right, but that I at least had a sort of "normal" (mom, dad, brother).  It came to light in a rather traumatizing fashion that the father I had grown up with is not my biological father.  At the tender age of 16 that knowledge sent me into a tailspin.  My whole life had been a lie.  I had a ton of decisions to make.  Looking back, I didn't really get them right, but I have since learned.  I started hounding my mom for answers, disassociating myself from my dad, searching for a birth father, and trying to find answers.

I realize now, that what I really needed to learn about was my own heart.  You see, it is important to know your family history.  Learning about them and the choices they have made have helped me to have grace and kindness in my interactions with them.   For example, knowing how my grandparents felt having a pregnant teenager, how my mom felt as a scared teenager, and how my dad felt wanting his parentage to be true all play into my story.  Seeing them all in this way has opened me up to a much deeper relationship.  I would encourage you all to learn about your parents and their parents, and on down the line.  Once I let go of the hurt and anger, I was also able to experience a much deeper relationship with my family members.  I was also able to give myself to God.  He knows my name and He knows my heart.  Early on it was hard to give myself to Him, feeling like I didn't know who I was.  Eventually the things of this world became less important.

As it stands I am 29, I have a wonderful relationship and friendship with my mother.  I am able to be a part of my dad's life with his new wife and children.  I am loved by God and dedicate my life to His service.  What more do I need know? 

The things of real value in my life have been...

So the thought of the evening is: what has brought real value to my life? I ready myself to answer this question after having checked my Facebook, then my Gmail, to answer a survey prompt from Molton Brown promising a free $36 bottle of body wash (with online purchase). I then selected what I would like to buy, put it in my cart, reveled at my would be "savings" (a whole free bottle of the finest body wash money can buy!) and then closed the page without a transaction. I'm not sure why I like to do this strange thing (select what I want, put it in the virtual cart, smile at what would be, and then smile more about not doing it). It certainly is not what brings value to my life. It is a time waster, but golly am I able to remeber my fine time traveling Europe, marvel at my ability to recognize a truly superior product (I love the scent "Thai Vert" if you ever need to prove your love to me), experience the rush of "saving", and then ultimately get my "high" from walking away with one flick of my right index finger.

For a time, fine things that I could not afford really did bring a sort of "value" to my life (the actual purchasing of, not just virtual). However, those very things ruined me, and really kept me from the truth. The truth is not only does God love me, I should love me. I only thought I neeeeeded those things. My clothing could be Valentino or Faded Glory, God doesn't care and thankfully neither do my friends, and now thankfully and by God's grace neither do I. It took me a long time to let go of this part of my identity, and I'm still working on it to be honest. I can now say that while I really get some serious kicks from my yearly Ikea trip, I don't have the heart to drop my lifes work on a bottle of soap (... call it fine hand wash all you want, it's just soap). After time spent in impoverished places, the necessity of just plain soap trumps the value of the finest stuff around.

Here is my inconclusive list of MVT's (Most Valuable Things):
- Family as in my husband and my dogs (both like to step on me or poke me while I am trying intently to watch "the Good Wife", both would leave a BP oil spill sized gush if they were missing)
- Family as in birth family (cliche...yes, often annoying...yes, of immeausurable depth & support...yes)
- Faith (love God, love others... there is nothing greater)
- Girlfriends (hang on to women who love even the you that you don't)
- Giving (give of yourself all that you can... your time, your money, your skills... it's all God's, so give it away and you will find a joy that will amaze you every time)
- George's Pizza (visit Pella, IA... climb into a booth, order a large hawaiian pizza and split it with one of the aforementioned people)

Be blessed!

What has been a thing of real value in your life?